Traveling slow with broken boats heading for the sky and I'm an island.

[oddthatway]

It's almost sun down when I decide I need to be out of the apartment. I've spent too much of today caught up in my own thoughts, and it's starting to wear me down. So I grab my keys, my phone, and a knife I can hide in the sleeve of my jacket, and I head out the door, no clear direction in mind.

It's warm, but tolerably so. The kind of weather perfect for running, really. But though I could easily set out on a run, I don't really feel like doing so. I kind of want to see where my feet wind up taking me, maybe stopping for an iced coffee on the way.

Darrow is full of peace and tranquility, the likes of which I never knew back in Chicago. Even Amity's campground proved little more than a sham, in the end. A balm that couldn't fully cover the gaping wound. As much as I appreciate a life in which no one is trying to actively kill me, sometimes, this place still doesn't feel real to me.

I'm not looking where I'm going, and, of course, I'm turning the corner of a street. Naturally, I nearly collide with someone else.

"Shit!" I say, halting where I am and hoping I haven't done any damage. "I'm sorry."

Comments

[oddthatway]

I know that smile. I know it too well. I've seen it countless times before. On Tris. Four. Will.

I wonder how much I'm hurting her, simply standing here in front of her. I don't know what I would do if I came across an exact replica of Will. Probably lose my goddamn mind. This girl, who reminds me, with her forced smile and bright smile, of Tris, is holding up remarkably well, all things considered.

"Been here long then?" I venture to ask, offering her a smile once I see her relax a little.

[and_proud]

"More than a year," Raven says, counting back and feeling surprised that it's been so long. "Last May."

So much has changed since then and yet so much has stayed the same. She feels like she's accomplished nothing, really, still working at the same lame waitressing job and keeping secrets.

But they're getting better, she thinks, and she's met the most wonderful people. They almost, almost make up for all of the hurt. And the hate that Sean and the like feel for her. "You?"

[oddthatway]

"Well," I reply, letting out a low whistle. "Jesus, that's something. Seems like a long time to be trapped in one place."

So much can happen in such a span of time. So much can fall apart, crumble, break - fall into decay. I'm only further impressed by this girl's resilience.

"I've been here since July," I say, shaking my head. "It seems so much longer than that."

[and_proud]

"Sometimes it feels like I just arrived," Raven counters. It comes in waves, though, depending on how 'trapped' she feels. Most days she's fine, her sense of restlessness more internal than external, but others she misses being able to travel. Others she lets her mind float back to Oxford or Westchester County and the worry that she'll never see them again. "But I know what you mean. I... think it gets easier. Do you have people from home, here? That helps."

[oddthatway]

"I'm lucky," I say, when she inquires whether I have people from home here with me. Of course, as grateful as I am to live in a city with my best friend, it doesn't make the fact of her death in the world outside ache any less. Really, it only seems to hurt more, especially when I try to keep it to myself. She shouldn't have to worry about stuff like that. "I have my best friend and her boyfriend with me. How about you?"